Anxiety, Perfectionism & People-Pleasing

When Anxiety Runs the Show

You're successful. You're responsible. People count on you. From the outside, everything looks like it's working. But underneath the surface, there's a constant hum — a tightness in your chest, a loop of worst-case scenarios, a voice that says you're one mistake away from everything falling apart. You've gotten very good at performing calm while your nervous system runs on overdrive.

Sound familiar? You're not alone. Anxiety, perfectionism, and people-pleasing are some of the most common reasons clients come to my practice — and some of the most misunderstood. These aren't character flaws or signs of weakness. They're survival strategies your brain developed in response to your environment, often a long time ago. They kept you safe once. But they're probably not serving you anymore.

As a therapist who works extensively with creatives, high-achievers, and LGBTQ+ clients, I see these patterns constantly — and I understand the specific pressures that fuel them. The entertainment industry's culture of hustle and overwork. The queer experience of hypervigilance and code-switching. The creative's impossible standard of originality. The people-pleaser's exhausting math of managing everyone else's emotions at the expense of their own.

The Many Faces of Anxiety

Anxiety doesn't always look like the textbook version. Sometimes it's obvious — panic attacks, racing heart, insomnia. But often it shows up in subtler ways that are easy to normalize or dismiss:

Perfectionism

The impossibly high bar you set for yourself. The inability to start a project because it might not be perfect. The harsh inner critic that finds fault with everything you produce. Perfectionism isn't about having high standards — it's about tying your worth to your output, and it's a common anxiety response. It can look like procrastination, overwork, difficulty delegating, or a pattern of starting things and never finishing them.

People-Pleasing

Saying yes when you mean no. Scanning the room for everyone else's emotional temperature. Apologizing for existing. People-pleasing is often rooted in early experiences where your safety depended on managing someone else's mood or meeting their needs. It's a form of hypervigilance, and over time, it erodes your sense of self. You might not even know what you want or need anymore — because you've been so focused on everyone else.

Burnout

When anxiety and perfectionism run unchecked, burnout is often the eventual result. Emotional exhaustion, cynicism, feeling detached from work you used to love, physical symptoms without a clear medical cause. Burnout isn't just about working too much — it's about chronically suppressing your own needs and operating from a depleted nervous system. Creatives and helping professionals are especially vulnerable.

Impostor Syndrome

The persistent belief that you're a fraud and it's only a matter of time before everyone finds out. Despite evidence of your competence and accomplishments, you attribute success to luck, timing, or fooling people. Impostor syndrome is particularly common among high-achievers, first-generation professionals, creatives, and marginalized people who've internalized the message that they don't belong in the spaces they've earned.

My Approach

I don't believe in "managing" anxiety — as if it's something you need to white-knuckle your way through forever. Instead, I'm interested in understanding where your anxiety comes from, what it's trying to protect you from, and what you actually need in order to feel safe enough to let go of patterns that aren't working anymore.

My approach is trauma-informed, which means I look beyond the surface symptoms to understand the experiences that shaped your nervous system. For many clients, anxiety, perfectionism, and people-pleasing are trauma responses — even if the "trauma" doesn't look like what you'd expect. Emotional neglect, growing up with unpredictable caregivers, bullying, high-control religious environments, experiences of discrimination — all of these can wire your brain for chronic anxiety.

I integrate multiple evidence-based modalities depending on what you need:

• EMDR — to process the underlying experiences that fuel your anxiety, so your nervous system can finally come off high alert
• Somatic approaches — because anxiety lives in the body, and intellectual understanding alone won't rewire it
• Attachment-informed work — to understand how your early relationships shaped your patterns of people-pleasing and hypervigilance
• Post-modern and narrative approaches — to examine the stories you've internalized about who you're supposed to be and create new ones that actually fit

What to Expect

In our first session, I want to hear your story — not just the anxiety symptoms, but the context. What's your life like right now? What was it like growing up? When did you first notice these patterns? What have you tried before? I'll ask a lot of questions, and I'll share a bit about how I work so you can decide if we're a good match.

From there, therapy is collaborative. We'll set goals together, and I'll check in regularly about what's working and what isn't. Some sessions will be heavy; others will feel like a relief. Some weeks you'll leave with concrete strategies; other weeks you'll leave with a new understanding of something you've been carrying for a long time. Both are valuable.

I see clients weekly in my Pasadena office or via telehealth throughout California. Sessions are 50 minutes at $210. I also offer a limited number of sliding scale spots.

Is This Right for You?

Anxiety therapy with me might be a good fit if:

• You're exhausted from the constant effort of performing calm, competent, and fine
• You know your perfectionism is holding you back, but you can't seem to stop
• You've lost touch with what you actually want because you've been so focused on everyone else's needs
• You're a creative or high-achiever dealing with burnout, impostor syndrome, or performance anxiety
• You suspect your anxiety is rooted in past experiences, not just "stress"
• You want a therapist who understands the intersection of anxiety with queerness, creative work, or leaving high-control environments
• You've tried CBT or other approaches and they helped with symptoms but didn't get to the root
• You're ready to stop surviving and start actually living

If any of this resonates, I'd love to talk. Book a free 15-minute consultation — it's just a conversation about what you're going through and whether I can help. No pressure, no commitment.